Here is the collection of Best 20 Funny Marriage Jokes in English. These jokes are so much funny that anyone can go mad with laughing. Send these husband wife jokes to everyone and make them laugh hard.
Best 20 Funny Marriage Jokes In English
How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with ,
“A man once told me… “
Wife is angry as husband stands too close to a
beautiful girl in the bus,
A few minutes later the girl slaps him for
Husband to wife:
I swear I didn’t
Wife: I know, I did it.
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says his friend. “I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can’t expect you to have been saving yourself all these years.”
“That’s not the problem, ” the groom says. “She gave me $20 change!”
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won’t take place..
On the other hand,
If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won’t take place
Wife: Aapko meri khoobsurati zayada achi lagti hay ya aqalmandi..?
Husband: Mujhey to tumhari ye mazaaq ki aadat bohot achi Lagti Hay…
I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic.
Ad By Google
Wife: Main bazar ja rahi hoon,
mujhe 50 Rupay ki zaroorrat hai!
Husband (ghusay se): Tumhen Rupay se ziada aqal ki zaroorat hai!
Wife: Aapse wohi cheez mangi hai, jo aap k pass mojood hai!
wife aur Husband Mazaar se Nikle to (aik Faqeer ne kaha:Shehzadi 5 rupey de de, Andha hoon.
Husband: De do, Tumhe Shehzadi kaha hai to zaroor andha ho ga.
An old man married a young Girl,
Someone asks the GiRL: Aap ne in mein Shadi ke liye kiya daikha?
Girl: Aik to inki INCOME or dosray in ke Din kam.
They say that when a man holds a woman’s hand before marriage, it is love;
After marriage: It is self-defense
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible,
I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself,
“What other problem can there be greater than this one?
How a woman calls her husband in first 6 years:
Yr 1. Janu
Yr 2. O G.
Yr 3. Aji, sunte ho?
Yr 4. Arey, O Bunty k pappa
Yr 5. Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6. Tum aate ho k main aaon?
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ?? Wife remains silent
Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De
Thappar Maarnay par NaraZ Wife se Husband bola:
Aadmi usi ko maarta hai jis se Pyaar krta hai.
Wife ne Husband ko 2 thappar maaray aur Boli Aap kya samajhtay hain main Aapse Pyaar nahi kerti
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream That u were sending me Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill !!!
Whats the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend, that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
Husband: u will never succeed in making that dog obey u!
Wife: Nonsense its only a matter of patience, I had a lot of trouble with u at first.
1st Friend: Yar meri b.v Ghussa Bahot krti hai. 2nd Friend: Meri b pehly karti thi ab nahi karti.
1st Friend: Tum ne kiya Elaaj kiya? 2nd Friend: 1 Din Ghussy mean thi,
Mean ne keh diya, K
Burhaapy mean Ghussa aa hi jata hai,
Us Din se wo Ghussa nahi karti…
These are the 20 best Funny Marriage Jokes. Share these funny marriage jokes with your friends and family and make them laugh.